Never Let Me Go...

No matter how hard we try.
No matter how deep we dig.
How high we hold our heads Above the waters that threaten to drown our love for each other,
It seems we do not do enough.
Everyday I wake and my heart sings a tune reminiscent of Asa's Babe gone.
My soul croons Rob Thomas's Ever the Same in reply.

I am afraid.
Afraid fate is too strong.
Afraid of the tides of distance and time that succeed in keeping us apart.
Afraid of love.
Afraid I am not strong enough.
Afraid you are growing up so far away from me.
Afraid of the places you have been,
The sights you have seen.
Afraid that when u look at me,
You will judge me by things I cannot fathom.
I long to hold your head against my bosom.
I long to kiss your eyes and fingers.
I long to hear you laugh.
I long for things we have done a million times and things we failed to do.

I dreamed we were by the water.
One minute on solid ground, The next in deep water.
'We will be alright', you said, 'I won't let go.'

Did they forget to tell you?
Some things are not in your hands...

Song of the day: Oleta Adams - Get Here if you can

Losing...

So Barca lost yesterday...

and to no better team than Arsenal...

I want to slap Valdes, i want to shake Xavi, i want to force Puyol to take his medicine and be well again...i am so freaking mad!!! We are the best team in the world!!! How can Arsenal beat us? oh my body aches, my heart is in deep pain...i hate losing.

Going forward...yesterday's loss made me think deeply about how much i hate losing. i think i am not built for losses. i have headaches and find it hard to breathe at the face of defeat. They say defeat is good and makes you stronger and bla bla bla... i beg to disagree

Then again i think of the Bible passage that says "if you faint at the first sign of trouble, then your strength is small' ...

I am looking forward to Nou Camp and even though fear grips my heart every time i think of Wilshere, i know we will be fine!!! I was born with the heart of a Catalan...my strength isn't small.

Visca Barca!!! More than a club...

Just venting jor...

So my friend, Dee (Those are her eyes), is too goodhearted for her own good! Its one of the reasons I love her and its one reason we r still friends. She really cares about her friends. Spends her money making transatlantic calls, chats with us all night long if need be, is there through thick and thin. She is my best friend and so u might think I am biased! I am not! She does same for almost everyone I know. She is an angel-too good to be true and all that but I am glad its true.

Ok! Back to the reason behind this long gist...We used to have a mutual friend. But u know me, I don't do bullshit! I got rid of our mutual friend when she got engaged & did all but literally rub it in our faces. Me and D didn't really care. We loved her but for me, time came when I couldn't understand why we were friends when I was the only one trying. I did the calling, the searching out, the praying for, the worrying about...etc. I don't do one sided anything. 

Even if na man, once I realise he aint digging me as much as I do him, I start purging my self of the poison called feelings. I will delete your number, I will delete u from my bb, facebook and email contacts. I will do just about anything to let go. I won't search u out. I will forget birthdays and I definitely will pray for more important stuff. I make no apologies. I am Kiah. I am made of sterner stuff! Bite me!!!

Ok back to 'Mrs' and Dee. Mrs got married! Trust me I was done with her by then so I didn't even know when. Dee on the other hand kept in touch even though i have told her to ignore the clown. So Dee called yesterday(another transatlantic call) and I know when that girl has been crying. I wanted to punch 'Mrs' really hand. Unfortunately she is pregnant and I might be jailed for 'foetus abuse'. Far be it from me to take it out on unborn children.

Apparently Dee(Goody two shoes) rememberd Mrs's birthday and called. In the process she asked Mrs why she has been so distant and not kept in touch. Mrs blows up and says stuff like this; 'Don't u know I have been pregnant?(shooo!!!) Do u know what I have been through? My feet are swollen. My tummy is swollen(before nko). I have been in out of the hospital like three times(na me give u belle) etc. In the end sha she hangs up on Dee. Chei!!! Why can't pple be like me! Ok strike dat! The world would be blind if everyone were :D. Dee is all upset when she calls and oh well, I let her vent. She won't let me send an email to Mrs. Lucky Mrs becos if she reads an email from me right now, she will go into early labour!!

I think back to those days when we were young and unencumbered and best friends and I wonder what changed.I wonder what will happen to Dee & I when life happens. Will love last? I can imagine life without loads of people but not without Dee. I plan on being friends even she ends up like Mrs!!! Few people are worth the bullshit! Most are not!!! Mrs is a NO!

Dearest Dee, you are God's gift to me.I like to think you were created to be best friends to me but that would be selfish.  Someday Mrs will look for u...Pls give me the sweet satisfaction of kicking her butt! Let it go...There will be better friends on the long road ahead. Love you babes...

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Essays, Essays, Essays

I made a deal with the devil...

But even that is alright

I am as bad as he is when it comes to keeping my word.

Life gets us all in the end

Get yours back while you still can

He kissed my tears

I drank his blood

One and the same...

We all have different ways of showing love

Whatever it is 

How ever hard it gets

Know this...

The end will come

P.S...Diary of a woman slowly being driven to her wits end by MBA essays!!!

Song of the day: Jason Mraz- Make it Mine