Life Happens...with our blessing

It is the 11th of April and i haven't written anything in the past eleven days...well at least not here. No, i am not losing my love for blogging...my muse is just having a long nap. She is in a state this month and nothing seems to be able to stir up her creative juices. 

I miss her-my muse- but i will live.

Two more weeks and he will be home. Enough said. Its no wonder my muse is bored, he is all that is in my head.

My cousin is getting a divorce. Ok well we are more like distant relatives but i am closer to his family than most my real cousins. He told me over the weekend and it scared the hell outta me. I remember telling him a few years back not to get married. He ignored me and many others. But that isn't the point. The point, the most important point is that there are three little children in the equation now and i feel like those words i spoke back in the day are the reason why their lives will never be the same. I know its stupid but i can't help it. i feel guilty. Maybe if i had kept my big mouth shut they would have swerved this pothole and made it through together. I wish i could help but i am wiser now and the mouth that spewed so much advice way back then is suddenly speechless. Divorce is a whole lot more than signing the damned papers and i cannot help but wonder about me and B.

School is almost here. I have heard so much about how important it is to aim for the ivy league schools and etcetra. While i have the greatest respect for the top schools, i will be the woman they will wish went to their school and not the other way round. And that is that!

Life is beautiful...God's love-my rose colored glasses.

This is just an update...i will try better next time.

Song of the day: Adele- Right as Rain

Faith

I lost my faith by the waters of peace

For of what use was faith when all was well

I had no use for it and it had no use for me.

I found faith again by the plains of Uz

Near the skeletons of my peace

The waters were gone,

Only desert plains and affliction remained

Faith came to me as a child

She was bald with tufts of diseased hair

Small head, enormous belly
Decaying milk teeth,

Reminiscent of malnourished children in Northern Africa

 

She walked towards me with a limp and a cup of precious water

She kissed my brow;
And with a smile that held a promise,

She whispered in my ear

'Your Faith will make u whole

And you will make your Faith whole'

She took my hand and we walked towards the oasis

Her teeth healed as my burdens fell off

Her limp disappeared as laughter found my mouth.

As we neared the wells of Elim,

She blossomed into Wisdom

'She is more precious than rubies;

and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared to her'

Faith needed me as much as I needed her.

Song of the day: Boyzone- You needed me

Love and its hiding places

They tried to get me to redesign. To change the wall papers that screamed silently of the passion we shared; 

Give away the curtains we played hide and seek with;
Have a yard sale for the dining table where we laughed, shared meals, made love... 
I told them that while they are at it,they might as well transplant the spot beneath my breast
I left everything the way it was.

She came home one rainy night
I couldn't tell her tears from the raindrops that fell from her hair.
I met her by the door and held her till my clothes were as soaked as hers were

I carried her just in case she changed her mind. Toweled her dry while kissing every inch of her skin. She pointed to the spot beneath her breast and said to me with eyes full of tears 'It doesn't hurt anymore' 
I held her a little tighter.

I watched her breathe all night and envied the air that she breathed. I wished I could to enter her body at will like it did. I would seek out the spot beneath her breast and no respiration process would ever dislodge me from where I call home.

I made her breakfast and kissed her hair as she laughed over my soggy eggs. She teased me about how nothing in the house had changed. I told her I dreamed she would be back. I did not want her feeling strange among things that had changed. Everything was the way she left it. She looked at me, pointed to the spot beneath my breast and said 'So long as It doesn't feel strange there, then its fine'.

I wept all over again, unable to believe the miracle that had led her home. This time she held me. 

We had a yard sale the next weekend! 

Song of the day: The Script - If you ever come back 

Puddles

We crossed the desert

Sailed the seas

Rode the constellations

Cruised the milky way

Why was it the minute pond that felled us?

Why was it that splash of water,

that stretch of stillness created by our mistakes

that drowned us?

Who would have thought,

that something no bigger than our bath tub

had so much depth that we would never be able to get past it?

We drowned in that puddle

I came up for air and you were a stranger

Who would have thought?

Like princesses and peas

Like pins in haystacks

Like the flowers you used to send me

Like the words ' I love you'

Its always in the little things...

Enemies

Messi was pure magic yesterday...Mascherano, blameless...Xavi and Iniesta, heavenly... all Arsenal players played horribly...all in all, i am having a great day!!!

Aside that, enemies wanted to break my baby's leg!!! mschewwww...

Daddy's little girl

I think i am trying to make up for February and the three dry blog posts i could come up with all month long. I am on a roll this March. March is one of my favorite months. I like the numbers 3 & 8 a lot.

Its Baba Lola's birthday today. i am at work and i wish i were rich enough not to work for anyone. i would throw my father the biggest birthday bash there is. Ok, i would at the very least take him out. Somewhere nice where he can forget all about work and his patients and Nigeria.

I love my father. Whats not to love? He is the watered down, kinder version of me. We have had our issues but men, that man has been there for me all my life. He has let me down a few but that's okay too. He is human after all. i remember how as a child, i wanted a doll that could talk and walk. We walked Agboju market together looking for that doll. When we couldn't find, we drove to Sura.

I see gray mixed up in his full head of black hair and i almost want to cry. Baba Lola is growing old and soon it will be my turn to be there for him. I hope i do not let him down. I hope that i am willing to go all the way to sura and beyond to make him happy.

Happy birthday Baba Lola. There is so much i want to say but i hope these words say it all

'Thank you'.

Song of the day: The Redeemed Christain Church of God Choir: Iwo Nikan

Shine

Nepa took the light while I was dressing for work again this morning. I had to fumble my way to my drawers and search for my lighter. Using its feeble light, I traced my way to a candle. I buy a pack every three months. I am not sure what I would do without my trusty candles.

The candle came on and I dressed thinking about how much difference its little flame made. I think of all the mishaps that could go wrong and many times do if I didn't have a candle. Wearing my skirt backwards. Wearing my clothes inside out. Spraying on my brother's perfume. Stepping on my new Prada shades that fell to the floor while I searched for the lighter. Forgetting to take off my hair net as I leave the house. Carrying two different shoes to work and ending up at one of those ridiculous boutiques in VI paying for a complete pair for an equally ridiculous amount.

The list goes on ...its like life really...darkness will always come but you can chose to live in it or fight it with everything you got. I hear so much bad news all the time that its easy to let myself be enveloped by a darkness that is man made. I see Gaddafi murder and maim over the TV. I look across my street and watch a child search the garage for clothes. I watch handsome young men run after cars like the wind in a bid to sell their wares and make enough to buy an evening meal. Darkness is everywhere around us, sometimes it is even in us...

Many spend too much time adjusting to the darkness, soon its hard to forget there is any other  way to be... We wait and pray for NEPA to be merciful and turn on their lights. We envy our neighbors that are able to buy generators or inverters. We pine and waste away instead of getting candles or lamps and lighting up our lives. Its the same way we put off telling that Senator we see everyday how everyone knows he is a thief. Its how i avert my eyes when i see young children begging . Its throwing away food when so many go to bed hungry. Its always in the little things.

Life might arm you with only matches or stones but don't let start stop you. Strike a match, scratch those stones together, flick those lighters, open the curtains...whatever you do, don't stay too long in the dark.

You have a choice. Choose to burn and let it shine through your pore...

Song of the day: Elton John - Candle in the wind

Never Let Me Go...

No matter how hard we try.
No matter how deep we dig.
How high we hold our heads Above the waters that threaten to drown our love for each other,
It seems we do not do enough.
Everyday I wake and my heart sings a tune reminiscent of Asa's Babe gone.
My soul croons Rob Thomas's Ever the Same in reply.

I am afraid.
Afraid fate is too strong.
Afraid of the tides of distance and time that succeed in keeping us apart.
Afraid of love.
Afraid I am not strong enough.
Afraid you are growing up so far away from me.
Afraid of the places you have been,
The sights you have seen.
Afraid that when u look at me,
You will judge me by things I cannot fathom.
I long to hold your head against my bosom.
I long to kiss your eyes and fingers.
I long to hear you laugh.
I long for things we have done a million times and things we failed to do.

I dreamed we were by the water.
One minute on solid ground, The next in deep water.
'We will be alright', you said, 'I won't let go.'

Did they forget to tell you?
Some things are not in your hands...

Song of the day: Oleta Adams - Get Here if you can

Losing...

So Barca lost yesterday...

and to no better team than Arsenal...

I want to slap Valdes, i want to shake Xavi, i want to force Puyol to take his medicine and be well again...i am so freaking mad!!! We are the best team in the world!!! How can Arsenal beat us? oh my body aches, my heart is in deep pain...i hate losing.

Going forward...yesterday's loss made me think deeply about how much i hate losing. i think i am not built for losses. i have headaches and find it hard to breathe at the face of defeat. They say defeat is good and makes you stronger and bla bla bla... i beg to disagree

Then again i think of the Bible passage that says "if you faint at the first sign of trouble, then your strength is small' ...

I am looking forward to Nou Camp and even though fear grips my heart every time i think of Wilshere, i know we will be fine!!! I was born with the heart of a Catalan...my strength isn't small.

Visca Barca!!! More than a club...

Just venting jor...

So my friend, Dee (Those are her eyes), is too goodhearted for her own good! Its one of the reasons I love her and its one reason we r still friends. She really cares about her friends. Spends her money making transatlantic calls, chats with us all night long if need be, is there through thick and thin. She is my best friend and so u might think I am biased! I am not! She does same for almost everyone I know. She is an angel-too good to be true and all that but I am glad its true.

Ok! Back to the reason behind this long gist...We used to have a mutual friend. But u know me, I don't do bullshit! I got rid of our mutual friend when she got engaged & did all but literally rub it in our faces. Me and D didn't really care. We loved her but for me, time came when I couldn't understand why we were friends when I was the only one trying. I did the calling, the searching out, the praying for, the worrying about...etc. I don't do one sided anything. 

Even if na man, once I realise he aint digging me as much as I do him, I start purging my self of the poison called feelings. I will delete your number, I will delete u from my bb, facebook and email contacts. I will do just about anything to let go. I won't search u out. I will forget birthdays and I definitely will pray for more important stuff. I make no apologies. I am Kiah. I am made of sterner stuff! Bite me!!!

Ok back to 'Mrs' and Dee. Mrs got married! Trust me I was done with her by then so I didn't even know when. Dee on the other hand kept in touch even though i have told her to ignore the clown. So Dee called yesterday(another transatlantic call) and I know when that girl has been crying. I wanted to punch 'Mrs' really hand. Unfortunately she is pregnant and I might be jailed for 'foetus abuse'. Far be it from me to take it out on unborn children.

Apparently Dee(Goody two shoes) rememberd Mrs's birthday and called. In the process she asked Mrs why she has been so distant and not kept in touch. Mrs blows up and says stuff like this; 'Don't u know I have been pregnant?(shooo!!!) Do u know what I have been through? My feet are swollen. My tummy is swollen(before nko). I have been in out of the hospital like three times(na me give u belle) etc. In the end sha she hangs up on Dee. Chei!!! Why can't pple be like me! Ok strike dat! The world would be blind if everyone were :D. Dee is all upset when she calls and oh well, I let her vent. She won't let me send an email to Mrs. Lucky Mrs becos if she reads an email from me right now, she will go into early labour!!

I think back to those days when we were young and unencumbered and best friends and I wonder what changed.I wonder what will happen to Dee & I when life happens. Will love last? I can imagine life without loads of people but not without Dee. I plan on being friends even she ends up like Mrs!!! Few people are worth the bullshit! Most are not!!! Mrs is a NO!

Dearest Dee, you are God's gift to me.I like to think you were created to be best friends to me but that would be selfish.  Someday Mrs will look for u...Pls give me the sweet satisfaction of kicking her butt! Let it go...There will be better friends on the long road ahead. Love you babes...

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN