September 17, 2011


I have been staring at the screen for some thirty minutes, more or less. So much i have to say but my fingers fail me. My fingers and my heart. My heart is where the words come from. My fingers only do it's bidding.

I spoke to an old friend today. He asked me out a long time ago and i gave him a resounding no. That NO resounded through our conversation today. We skirted around the issue, indulging in small talk instead. Catching up on the years. He asked me when i was coming over to his city. I said i had noone and nothing that would bring me there. I know he read the underlying meaning. There was a long silence after that.
That was the summary of our 5 minute conversation...small talk and huge silences.
I have few enough friends as it is already in this place. I want to keep him. I hope i can keep him. He sounded the same. Naive and innocent. Unspoiled and virgin. So trusting and so believing of this facade i have put out for the world to see. I want to keep him that way. After another long silence, i told him i had to run. He said he will call again soon. A shiver ran down my spine. I am not sure if its from fear or from anticipation. I am leaning towards the former.

I need to stop pushing people away. It is just that this is the only way i know how to be.

Song of the day: The Script-For the First Time


  1. Funny how deep seated connections never die.. :) Small talk, huge silences.. Never a recipe for a whole heart IMO.. But then what do I know?

    Can I go on record to say I love The Script?

  2. i doubt if this was ever a deep seated was a friendship that died in its infancy...things that never really had the chance to be make the worst kind of ghosts...

    i love the Script more... :))

  3. Sure? I have a Script song for every major thing that has 'befallen' me since 2009.. :)

    I meant the connection from the angle of the bloke.. Not yours... Clearly.... :)

  4. Yepa, another guy securely retains his position in the 'friend-zone'.

  5. yay, Rethots is back...i think...


  6. *sigh* the friend zone..
    Seems like that's where I get relegated to, sometimes before I even open my mouth... *mentally swearing for Jane Doe*

  7. You have to stop doing this! :/