A Ramble and Mark Anthony

I have written a couple of stories but I don't know what is wrong with me these past few weeks. I am unsure; unsure of me, my worth, my abilities. And no, I don't need reminding by anyone, I just need to look down deeper and write better.

Three more days for January to be over and what a rollercoaster ride it has been. I have nothing but thanks to give though. It is all working out for good.

There was once a girl; crazy, special and naughty. One day this girl woke up to find she was a woman and hardly recognizable in the mirror. The only thing to remind her of who she was were the things she had written, a boy she loved and her God.

That new woman is me. It is why I am not writing stories I love anymore. I am writing stories that sound like a woman and not like that special girl. Bleh. And I absolutely refuse to share this period of mediocrity with anyone. Well except for Funminiyi who is great like that and is too kind to tell me I suck.

Maybe I am going through mid-life crisis. Yes, yes I am far from midlife but I have always been precocious like that. I graduated high school at 13. That should tell you enough.

Anyway back to writing, there are so many good writers out there and maybe it is reading their work that has made me doubt mine but what the heck, you guys are too much. I discovered Akwaeke Emezi's work and I am such a stalker now.

Most times what happens after a writer's block or whatever these things are called is that I write a great story, the kind of story that blows y'all's knee socks off and all that business. In the main time though, I shall ramble on my blog. Who knows, maybe my next post will be a story.

Bear with me...my heart is in no coffin and I have no Mark Anthony excuses to give you, but I must pause on story telling till it comes back to me from wherever it has gone on vacation to. (Seriously if you cannot tell I am quoting Shakespeare here, you have no business on my blog. You need to pick up a Shakespeare book and get some education. I am just saying.)

Here is hoping my heart/muse/the thing that helps me write is gone for only a little while. Till then, I will be seeking inspiration from y'all's blogs. When I say y'all, I am not referring to Twitter Celebrities or Gossip Giants and the like before some people start thinking this hiatus means I will start having time for rubbish. I am referring to blogs that make sense, that tell stories that make me sit up at night and want to be a character in one of their tales...yeah those kind of blogs.  Right!

If none of these makes sense, that's okay. It doesn't make sense to me either. But I needed to ramble. Deal with it.


Song of the day: Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star

 

Cobwebs

It has been ages...

Well hello, Ms. Obvious...Lol

I haven't written any story I wanted to share in a long time so I kinda just sat back and read all you guys' stuff. It is so refreshing and daunting to see all the amazing talent in Nigeria. And no, we shall not go into what Chimamanda said or meant in her interview. I am a huge fan of the woman. Nigerians need to learn respect for others' opinions. Chikena...

Things are changing so fast. I am moving to a new city and excited but also scared. New apartment, new clothes (as soon as I can afford them after shelling out all these money for rent and the move), new friends...and yet I miss the old stuff...

I miss my family.
I miss Mr Kiah.
I miss school.
I miss my friends.
I miss my old job.

But I am in a happy place and if you ask me why, I will smile and tell you "If no be God o..." 

So many answered prayers, so many more answers on the way...

Its another birthday in a few weeks. If I had one wish, I would ask that the people I love be fulfilled. I am getting to the place where I pray more for others than I do myself. It is a wonderful thing when you love people enough to put your desires aside and lift theirs up before God. You can't get better than that in love. Then you become what God intended for you to be in the first place...just like Him.

I am still waiting on that next story...praying to God for inspiration because I am nothing without Him. I have no doubt it will be written just the way He wants it and at the right time.

Till then, keep the stories coming people. 

Song of the day: William McDowell- I Won't Go Back

Team Kiah

I graduated.

Lol, sorry to disappoint all you hair people who saw the picture and were all excited; this post isn't about hair! And yes that is all my hair; and no I don't follow any regimen or do anything special with it, I was just in the right place when God was giving out nice hair. :P

I graduated. It has been a while I felt so accomplished. 

And yet I know it is time to start out again on new goals, new races, new paths. I am so excited, so thankful, so bursting with energy and love :D

A few weeks ago, I did some 'spring cleaning'. You know how you have some people in your life that you can never really count on. Those ones that claim they care about you but somehow it never rings true. Those ones whose posts on Facebook are all about their other friends and you, you are for inbox messages; somehow like they aren't proud to be associated with you. Those ones, that you are so tired of trying with, so tired of complaining to because their ears are filled with wax... 

Yup...Spring Cleaning is a very necessary ingredient in our lives. 

My classmate said to me a few days ago, "there is something about you, you can't see something wrong and let it go. It is an amazing gift in this world where the lines between wrong and right are very blurred."

I sometimes wish I didn't have this 'gift' or whatever. I would be so much better without it. I would let slights pass, I wouldn't have an headache all the time from thinking about how to save the world and solve all its problems, I would keep my mouth shut and let people get away with whatever. 

Some battles though, even this warrior can't and won't fight. I think the key is a balance; knowing which people and which battles are worth fighting for; or which ones just drag you down. 

I can confidently say I am the most blessed woman in the world. . I have this really really amazing family - not perfect but I am where I am because they are who they are. My boyfriend...and I just started smiling...my boyfriend, everything I hoped for and more. My friends; strong, real, beautiful, unafraid. God...faithful, perfect, God all by Himself.

With this team, how can I even start to go wrong?

Blessings.

Song of the day: Asa - Iba

My dreams are made of...

Today I danced to 'white people' music (as my Italian-American friend from New York called it) and  loved every bit of it.

Many things have changed about me since I packed my bags and left Lagos.

I can dance to white people's music and not feel awkward
I can see through people's bullshit a lot easier
I can be Nigerian and love it
I can talk gibberish to cute dogs and not feel weird and so alone about it
I can be comfortable in my own skin and accept my stretch marks, my baby fat, my D cups, my thick grass of hair....

Many things have stayed the same since Muritala Mohammed bade goodbye to my Burberry gym bag...

My eyes still shine 
I can still write up a storm
I am still stubborn as they come
I am always, and always will be in the corner of the underdog
I am a lover...still

The list goes on...

The weeks before graduation are some of the most hectic and emotionally draining. I have asked myself  so many times if these two years have been worth it. So many of my friends got married within these two years. So many have babies or are preggers (never mind that almost all my friends are older than I am-long story, will tell another day) So many got job promotions. So many dreams accomplished...

I tell myself this is what I wanted, that this was my dream; the chance to live and work somewhere else, the opportunity to learn Chinese and Thai and Spanish ('hello' and 'how are you' are my limits so don't start a conversation biko!) , the experience of meeting and falling in love with some of the most wonderful people ever...
I tell myself all the time that so many people would give anything to be in my shoes.
I tell myself so many things these days; all these talking to myself, it keeps me from going crazy, it does...

It however doesn't stop me from dreaming about little Kiahs who can say hello in Chinese, Thai and Spanish. Or little boys with their father's smile and his way with poetry...

Life is beautiful.

Song of the day: The Lumineers- Hey Ho

Abide with me

It is the last day in February.

I wanted so much to happen this month and it didn't.

And then I saw my friend today. He is my classmate; young and sweet. Classmate and friend and yet we barely ever see these days. So imagine the shock on my face when he told me he broken up with the girl he was going to marry.

Only a few weeks back we talked about wedding traditions and how they differed from place to place. Only last month, his eyes couldn't stop shining, his lips couldn't stop turning up in a  smile; when I teased him about her.

He says he is alright but I could see the pain and disappointment in his eyes. I wanted to hold him for much longer than I did. I wanted to tell him everything is going to be okay.

But who am I to make promises that I cannot keep? 

So much I wanted to happen this month. So much that was hoped for, prayed for...I woke up this morning thinking '24 hours more; surely this is enough?'

The day is almost over and all I am reminded of is the hymn 'Abide with me'. 
I am gonna hum it and be thankful for all that He has done. I am gonna close my sleep deprived eyes and tell myself that everything is going to be okay. Maybe when it is morning, I will believe again.

Song of the day: Abide With Me

Right direction

These past few weeks, I have been James Bonding around the US. 
DC, Baltimore, Richmond, Orlando and now Chicago and soon off to California. Yup...my life.

Don't get me wrong; I love travelling and seeing new places. Its just that every time I get on a plane/bus or whatever, I feel like I am going in the wrong direction. 

It makes me long for the things I do not have, all these traveling does. I stand in line at TSA and babies smile at me and my womb literally contracts. Older men open doors for me and I miss my father. Young men wearing their multicolored Nikes make me wish my brothers were right beside me to see all the amazing things the world has to offer. Lovers holding onto each...sigh, lets not even explore the multifaceted feelings seeing them bring. 

I just want to stop. In the midst of all these crowds racing to make sure they don't miss out on their destinations, I just want to stop. Stop and breathe. Stop and close my eyes. Stop and remember why I was going that way in the first place.

It has been a minute in this space. Life continues to happen. I miss blogosphere. All my favorite bloggers are MIA. It is maddening. I find myself going back to their blogs, reading their last posts and looking for hints of where/how they might be. I am a storyteller. Believe me when I say I have made up stories about the lives of each one of these bloggers. T-Notes is really a pervert(duh) in real life but some girl finally  has him on the path of change. Muse is in his early forties and experiencing a mid-life crisis. Rethots is still rethinking everything and is a PHD type guy.

Christmas will be here soon. All I want is to finally be on the right plane, the right bus, the right whatever it is...I just need to know I going in the direction of home. 

Heaven only knows where that is...

Song of the day: Oleta Adams - Get here if you can

Forgetfulness

Forgetfulness should be a sin.

There are times when I think that if it were, people(me inclusive) wouldn't find it so easy to complain, murmur, be mean etc.

I look over this past year of my life. My dreams are coming true, even much better than I dreamed. I am in a good place. People laud my writing everyday. My family is well, I am well. I have amazing people cheering for me in the stands, people I don't know why they even like me. I know people i can call up and they will come to my aid in a heartbeat. I wake up everyday in a comfortable bed, small but comfortable. On my wall are pictures of people I love that love me back. In my bank account is more money than some people dream of ever having (yes it dwindles everyday but what the heck). I get to live in a land that is free and rich. I can pay my bills. I speak and people stop to listen. I write and people hold their breath to read. I smile and the sun shines even brighter. I eat what I want. I can live, worship, dance, sing...all of it freely

A year and some months back, I would never have imagined I would be all this. I wasn't even sure I wanted to live. Today I am here and it is all by God's grace. Yet when something happens, do i remember whither i come from? Do I remember that the God who has brought me thus far is still alive? Do I remember to trust this God? Do I remember to smile even when my heart is heavy, knowing fully well that sorrow endures only for the night and my joy will show up as surely as the sun rises?

No! To my eternal shame, I don't. I forget so easily, every time, all the time. I can't even imagine how hurt i would be if i were in God's shoes and I had this ungrateful and forgetful child who shakes her fist at me whenever i guide her as carefully as i can over the rough patches and potholes in this road called life.

It is almost 10am here and my stomach is beginning to growl and complain. I silence it with promises of my pancake recipe. It stops immediately, trusting my skills in the kitchen.  

Today I am going to shut the hell up and stop whimpering. I am going to be still and know that my God is still in the business of turning plain water into wine. Batch after batch, the pancakes will turn out just right. I will sit still in the corner and sing His praises while He does what He does best. A couple of times I will stand up and dance for Him. I will tell thank Him for His mercies, His Love, His grace and everything in between. When the kitchen gets too hot, I will thank Him because the winds blow at His will and the heat is but temporary. When it gets too cold, I will lift my gloved hands in worship of the God that does not die. When the kitchen of life is just unbearable, I will bless His name for the good times that will be sure to return

I am done forgetting. This is my testimony.

Song of the day: Marvin Sapp - Never would have made it

New York and me

Sigh...so i would never do this on a good day when my senses are complete...but New York sun fried my remaining senses. Hopefully since i am back in a sane place, I will get them back. T-Notes caught me at a good time, i guess...so here goes


I am supposed to post 11 things about myself and then answer 11 questions asked by the tagger(which kind ajayi-work-no-pay be this?) 


11 things about moi:

1. I am moody- God help my husband and children
2. I love God like you can't imagine-everything i am (the good stuff oh) is all him and i still find it hard to believe he would die for me-crazy old me, silly old me, sinful old me-sigh 
3. I keep pennies, quarters, dimes etc and spend them when shopping for things i don't need. It is a way of assuaging my conscience that it isn't that much money to spend on myself. So you will find me in MACY'S keeping up the lines just because i am paying for stuff with coins. Ijebu oh!
4. I love to write and read- Go figure
5. I am addicted to plantains...
6. I have a huge crush on Seye Blogs - the way he writes is very arousing- my goodness. I hope his wife never reads this. that's all!
7. I schooled in the Northern Part of Nigeria and once watched the almajiris butcher students of a neighboring school. 
8. I want Ngozi Okonjo Iweala's job. I could do a better job than she is doing- i had an A+ in Macroeconomics so Yimu...
9. I do not take criticism about my writing well...especially from people that cannot write. There is  a particular blogger whom almost everyone else seems to respect (God knows why) but i think is full if s**t. When the said person criticises my work, it is everything i can do not to take them to a  new low. So far, so good...Still, don't push it! But please, great criticism is welcome as always-just be nice about it.
10. I can sing...oh boy, can i sing...once got a standing ovation after singing an Adele's song. Do you know how hard it is to sing an Adele's song? And i got a standing ovation! Not 'sitting' oh, 'standing'...What more proof do you need?
11. I don't get what people's fascination with sex is. I really don't. If i didn't want children, i would be a nun! P.s this doesn't change the fact that i am a sexy lady...Please find proof below- a bad hair day, no shoes on, sweaty after parading round Ithaca and I still look this good...eh hen! (and yes, that is green nail polish i have on my toenails-sexy, sexy, sexy)lol

 

Some guy was trying to steal my thunder-hence the evil eye!

T-Notes's questions


1. Earliest sex experience (confess and describe)? Dear T-Notes, You are such a  pervert
2. Kinkiest sex thrill (Yes, that fantasy)? mschewwww
3. Proudest body part? Eyes
4. Wildest sexcapade (actual real life)? The beach
5. What would you change about yourself..makes you insecure? Boobs
6. How many true friends do you have? Five, or maybe six - one of them is this amazing young man SN i found on blog world. I am forever grateful.
7. What are trying to achieve in your life right now? Convince a man to marry me and give me twins- ok seriously, Make plenty money so i can live in New York for the rest of my life!
8. What are you afraid of? Going to hell
9. Why (do) you believe in God? If there is no God, then there is no need...for any of it.
10. If a movie were made about your life, what would the theme song be? Train- Drops of Jupiter
11. Greatest life accomplishment till date. Getting an MBA - Well in the process


So i am tagging the following people just because I am required to SN, AJ, lovelife , Bee, NakedSha, chinny, Atoskin. Please feel free to give inane answers.


Did i tell you guys i get to have a puppy for three months? He is the loveliest thing ever. Sigh...I hope this oyinbo bug of loving pets too much has not bitten me oh!

Song of the day :John Mayer- Shadow Days

Bras and other stories

There is nothing like a good bra.


Support, inspiration, sexy, close to your heart...


I recently indulged in a Soma bra. If you know Soma, you know they are crazy priced but i am discovering that maybe they are worth it. 
There are enough disappointments in life. A bra should not be one of them. I am in class and bored out of my mind. My Soma Bra keeps me inspired and awake.


That said...my muse is enslaved by  The Writer Competition. Please visit the link if you have missed her stories. Oh and please vote for her as well. 


Here is to March and no Ides!


P.S As another birthday approaches, think Soma for Kiah!

Thankfully, Kiah

Lately i have done nothing but moan!


And groan, gripe and complain. I cannot seem to find any reason to be thankful. Ok that is not true. I do see reasons to be thankful but i think i am forgetting how to be thankful.(Heaven forbid)


And somehow i stumbled on this http://www.kiahsscript.blogspot.com/2010/10/dear-john.html. 


I am still the same girl that wrote that. Yes it has been a year but look how far i have come and all the wonderful gifts i got on a platter of GRACE in 2011. Right now, i am feeling like the ungrateful heel that i am. 

Today, i am especially thankful for my amazing friend and fellow blogger SN. Its his birthday and like December, he shines.
I am thankful for life, Jesus, my family, friends, school, my unborn children (all 4 of them), my soon to be husband (faith people, faith!), my career, my ability to put words together and weave tales, my amazing hair that has weathered Virginia's winter beautifully :), my pink nail polish, music, books, my bags that are packed and ready to flee this town, my Gucci by Gucci perfume bottle that is somehow still full, good health, my country, my dry flaky skin that hasn't weathered winter as beautifully as my hair, hope for tomorrow....etcetra, etcetra...


Heavenly Father, for everything,  Imela!!!


Song of the day: Tye Tribbett- Bless the Lord (Son of Man)

Hindsight

So i was sitting at the table, chatting with my friend on Facebook when i remembered that its Friday tomorrow.


It was just last Friday i decided to leave it all behind to follow my dreams. 


If i were in Lagos right now, i would be picking out what to wear for work. If Nepa had been good, i would be on my way to bed- no mosquitoes to think about, no un-ironed clothes to smooth-en, no worries about muscle pull from trying to coax my generator into working. Depending on whether i had plans to go dancing, i would pick out something sexy and a jacket so the office's fashion police won't fine me! The list is endless of what i would be getting up to right now...in Lagos.


What am i doing here? What search has led me here- to a people not my own, to a land i barely recognize, to food bland and missing maggi? What madness, bravery, stupidity possessed me to leave all that was great about my life for the unknown? 
I am not sure when the tears started falling. All i know is they haven't stopped. 
Its amazing that i am the same girl who couldn't wait to begin this journey. Yesterday, I was laughing like a mad hatter and acclimatizing.


Today, all i want is Akara and Fried Yam, Smirnoff Ice, Swe Bar, Yaba and Balogun(Target and Walmart-sheesh), my crazy friends, my duvet (i know i was forgetting something), my family...


I am so ashamed i am still crying...i am just a bag of mush after all!!! If the crying was the dignified silent stuff, e for better. But for where? When it rains, it pours in Kiahville. I will never live this snot and body heaves down!!! I haven't cried like this since...errr...okay let's draw the curtain on charity right there, shall we?


Land of the two rivers,
Home isn't where the heart is.
Its where the road leads.
You are where my heart is.
Will you be where my road leads?


Land of the two rivers,
There is no better place or people.
Proudly Nigerian.


Song of the day: Styl-plus- Ma se

Unfaithful husbands and dreams.

Before Blog husband starts looking for new Blog wife, i am still alive and kicking oh! So unless you have forgotten that we didn't sign any prenuptial and are ready to give up all you are worth, kindly stop trying to find a replacement for me!!!
Sigh, it hasn't even been that long since i posted... YIMU!


Anyways, i am glad i was missed. Now what have i missed?


I have a great excuse for not posting. I have an even greater one for not coming up with any literary wonder to delight y'all. And no it isn't my Muse. This excuse is called following my dreams. 


I am three days into it and i have found that following one dream will leave no room for some others. Is that a bad thing? Maybe. Maybe not. We will see.


T.Notes ,SN...darling, Professeur ...thank you for checking up on me. 


Rest assured, the right dreams will thrive no matter the competition. A time and season for everything underneath the earth...


Song of the day: Bob Marley-One Love

Hold on

There are no words to thank my wonderful friends for an amazing time on Friday.

Two days time and i am a year older. Amen.

Dear God, can i ever thank You enough?

Its another year again. Hold my hand. No matter how stubborn or angry i get, hold on please. No matter how many times i let go, hold on. That's all i ask, that you hold onto me and never let me go.

Thank you.

Errr Blogville, its been a whirlwind. I read through some of my old posts and cringe inwardly. Other posts make me blush :) Some others i can barely recognise myself in it.

I wouldn't change anything that has happened this past year, least of all discovering this world. Hold on to me, you guys. Don't let go, not just yet.

Be happy people

Song of the day: Maxwell-Pretty Wings

Change

The thing that stayed with me the most after seeing The Grinch was the little girl, Cindy Lou. Her confusion at growing up and at change were what held my attention till the end of the movie and even after. Yes, Jim Carey outdid himself and yes, all the other characters were beautiful but it was that little girl and her struggle to understand the change going on around her and in her that has stayed with me even up until now. I must have been 13 then. I remember thinking to myself  "I know what she is going through".

I love change. I embrace it, engineer it even. But when it does come, i find that most times i am not as prepared as i thought i was and i start longing for the way things used to be. The good news is that it soon passes. But for those days where i am still stuck in the past, its a roller coaster ride of emotions and sometimes i lose a little of myself to the past that i am clinging to.

Change is here again. This change however isn't like all the others. Then again it isn't very different. I do not know what lies at the end. I am not even sure of its beginning. I have placed my hands in His. I will let Him take the lead in this one.

And yes, the roller coaster ride has begun. Bear with me.

Have a great week people.

Song of the day: Matchbox 20 - 3 a.m

Asa

So i met Asa yesterday and i cannot stop talking/thinking about it...

Take all the wonderful things that you think she is and multiply by 10...

Everything good will come...when they get here, do not stop expecting. The Source never runs dry.

P.S I cannot get Asa's Iba out of my head...especially these words 'Nitori re mo se lola...' 

Do not kid yourself, there is no you, no me, without Him.That is all.

Song of the day: Asa-Iba

Happy Endings...Beginnings

So lets talk weddings...in fact lets follow the rest of the world and talk about Kate and William's wedding!!

Absolutely not!!!

Jos is burning, Kaduna is slowly recovering from the evil recently unleashed on it, floods have visited Alabama and hundreds are dead already, Japan is still struggling to understand the recent occurrences...

When i can discuss that, i will discuss a group of people whom i might never meet and who might never inspire me or me, them. Till then...

Still...may their ending be as pleasant as their beginning!!!

Dear John

So i know this child. He is really a  baby actually. He will be two in January. I think he still makes it in the baby category. I forget sometimes, in fact  i forget loads of times. He is smart like that. Calls me 'Antiee' and knows two plus two makes four. I wonder how many of you reading this knew what one plus one was at four years of age. I am just saying...

Last week i gave him a balloon and he said...'chank yuuuu'

I took a deep breath and almost burst into tears. I didn't - thank God. I imagine how quickly his bewildered mother would have whisked him away from the weird 'Antiee'. Thankfully doubts about my sanity weren't called into question that day. 

Things haven't been going as planned. Scrap that, they haven't been going well at all. I wake up, go to work, walk the talk, talk the walk but my insides are all messed up and in need of healing. I have taken to crying a lot-in the bathroom at work, at home, in my father's arms...anywhere where it is safe

I know how to do the whole smiling while dying inside thing so very few people know. I have been mighty angry, plenty bitter and very very sad. On Friday , Lil John brought the first real smile to my face in days. I kissed him and said you are welcome. He laughed that amazingly heartbreaking baby laugh of his and broke into a song. The lyrics were pretty messed up but i would know the melody anywhere. Shakira would have been proud. Even babies know the 'Time for Africa'

Dear John. He said 'chank yuu' a hundred times to me that night.  The balloon kept falling off its little straw and i kept fixing it. My patience didn't run out. Every time he looked at me with those eyes to signal he needed help i dutifully did the needful. It reminded me of how faithful God is and all the times i have needed help and have been too confused to ask and He keeps helping. He hasn't run out of patience either

So this is my thank you Post. It is possible, actually it is more than likely that i will be needing to remember reasons to be thankful in the days ahead.  I hope i have the presence of mind to come back to this post and remember what its all about. Thank you dear John for the reminder.

Song of day: Mary Mary- Thank you

Rant (1)

There's always this one person that knows how to get to you. Most likely there are more than one.And very likely they are  assholes and because they know they can make you hurt, they will.

We all have these kind of people in our lives. Sometimes by design, Mostly its by choice. We hang on because we are afraid of the unknown. The adage 'the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know' becomes our defense. What we forget is that no matter how bad the angel or how saintly the devil, you will always end up preferring the angel

Fortunately, sooner or later, hopefully its sooner,you realize that these assholes only have that power because you have given it to them. Like Esau you sell your birthright to peace of mind. Unlike Esau though, there is redemption for you. You can choose to show the wheedling needling bastards the door and keep that door shut.

Maybe someday the usurpers will see the light and receive transformations and become Israels. Mostly they won't. If they do, find it within yourself to open that door again. Be cautious, take as much time as possible before letting them back in. Its your life. Make no excuses for being happy. Make no excuses for getting rid of people that have nothing but ill to add to your life. Its your responsibility to make yourself happy.

Song of the day: The Script- End where i begin

Everything

So i heard Michael Bublé's Everything for the first time yesterday morning on radio. Yes, yes, i know am three years late!!! God bless Manny (Cool Fm) for playing the best songs ever every morning. I held very still and listened to every word. It was love at first sound. it has always been that way with me and Mr Bublé. We have serious chemistry. i downloaded it hurriedly and it has been on replay ever since

How does he do it? Time and time again. He churns out songs that leave me on a perpetual high. I have a feeling he lives in the inner recesses of my mind. He just takes all the things i want to say but never find the words or rhymes for and sings it perfectly.

I was still playing the song as i left work yesterday. M was coming back in. I dont even want to hazard where from. I stopped in front of him and put the phone to his ears. He broke out in smiles. And then he laughed and then he sang. Its been a long time since i got M to smile like that. My friend is stingy with his smiles. That made my day. Seeing M so happy.

I think to myself how universal music really is. It took a song by a man from millions of miles away, a different culture, different tastes, different lives...to make my friend smile today. It just shows how mighty we are if only we try.

 I bet Mr Bublé never knew he would make M smile yesterday or me so very upbeat. I bet he wrote that song trying to make a living or maybe to just get airtime on the radio. He definitely didnt know about moody M or crazy Kiah and i doubt he will ever know.

I haven't been able to write anything these past few days. Everything i do come up with i end up trashing or Nengak helps me trash. We all have something it is we want  to do. For some its singing, for others its dancing, helping people, giving ...for some like me its writing. Whatever it is, try not to underestimate it. A million people will tell you its crap but you never know whose day you are going to make shine... whose night you are going to light up

You're a carousel
You're a wishing well
And you light me up
When you ring my bell
You're a mystery
You're from outer space
You're every minute of my every day

Song of the day: DUH!!! :)

Blog Fever..

I have absolutely nothing to write about today.

Its the weekend and these people from the office that obviously haven't had enough of me for the past five days want me back here tomorrow. God dey!!!

I am loving this blog thingy...Dols got me to change my template and background for the 3rd time. She is a hard woman to please. I hope no one has been bored to death yet by all the ramblings of my mind.
I even got someone to start blogging and am gradually finding friendship,laughter, on blog-ville.

Life is so beautiful right now. Yes,  LCC de find my trouble with all these talk of tolls. Yes, i still find myself finding it hard to let go and let God. And yes, i am still plenty angry... But i am here and i refuse to go down easy. I have found that the best way to do that is to find beauty even in the littlest things.(Dalai Lama would be proud)

This weekend ,the devil is a big fat black liar. I will read my books. I shall find strength to go shopping for cream shoes for UK's wedding. And  i will not binge on Sharwama...So help me God.

Have a great weekend and don't forget to ..breathe and love, love, love...

P.S thank you my followers (Ah, finally I'm becoming like Jesus)...kisses


Song of the Day: Jason Mraz - The Remedy