November 2, 2011

Fairy tales

I want to fall in love. If not for anything, to prove that i can. To prove that i have healed. To prove that in healing, my heart did not turn to stone. To prove that i still believe in the goodness of others. 

My greatest fear these days is that i will end up with someone that i do not love. It is what keeps me awake at night. It is why i wont take a second look at opportunities that are staring me in the face. It is why i say my prayers with tears-well among other things.

I want the old me back. The girl that was unafraid and unencumbered by this fear. If i don't ever get that girl back, i would have lost something only me and God knows its value. There is such a thing as healing too quickly.

I love November. The buildup before Christmas. In my head is a picture of what the Church of Assumption, Falomo will look like soon. In my heart is an image of Ajose Adogun and Zenith Bank outdoing themselves year after year with Christmas lights.

It has not snowed here yet but if it does, i will be hibernating! Classes or no classes. There is only so much an Ijesha girl can take. 

There is a fairy tale somewhere that has lost its princess. Counting the seconds till i believe again...

Song of the day: Coldplay - Paradise


  1. 2011 rushes on to its inexorable end.. Those images of festivity are good ones to have I reckon..

    I suspect that fairy tales are an abstraction we are primed to aspire to - the harsh reality is hard nosed, pragmatic decisions.

    Dream on though.. and when you find the elixir that softens hearts of stone - share..

  2. "I want to fall in love...." Hahaha.....
    Do we really fall in love or choose to love?

  3. @Rethots, I think we fall, down into the pit that is called love. Once in, getting out is difficult in the very least.
    The Ijesha girl needs an electric jolt to wake her up methinks...
    Dearest Blog Wife, time heals all wounds, not your time but His.

  4. @Ohj....will do and if you find it first, send some my way...
    @SN...i know...i am just not used to waiting on anyone else's time.

  5. Hmmm... I'd go with Rethots, we don't fall in love, we choose to love. Yes, emotions may help our choices but at the end, its the choice we make that makes it last.

    Like I said about "MARKED", being healed from issues of the of the past, sometimes and often times, is a choice!

    - LDP