June 22, 2012

Letting go...

I have been writing a lot lately...this is one of my worse ones...i can't seem to give it a proper ending. 
Some stories and my muse is on a high; with this story my muse is more than done. One of the things about being a writer is you get used to letting go. After 96 hours of reading, editing and mulling over this story, I think its time. 

Time for Effiong to let go, time for Titi to let go, Time for Kiah to let go...

He tried to make her stay but the more he tried, the more she primed her wings to fly.

He would wake up sometimes to find her watching him.
‘What is it?’ he would ask.
‘Nothing. I just love watching you sleep.’ She would reply. 

But it wasn’t nothing and they both knew it Even in the kiss that would follow, he could taste withdrawal. He had become the chains that held her bound, the cage from which she strained to be freed.

On some nights, he would wake up and she would be gone from the bed they shared. He would find her on the balcony rocking on her heels, like a bird about to take flight.
‘Are you okay?’ He would ask as he put his arms around her waist.
‘Yes, yes, I am fine. Go back to sleep. You are the one who has to go to work tomorrow.’ She would reply.

Sometimes he would ignore her and stay on that balcony, the two of them fighting the demons that threatened to steal her away. Sometimes he was just too tired to lift the shield of hope or brandish the sword of love on her behalf and he would go back to sleep.

The day came when she finally made to leave. She tried to hide her excitement but a child with a new toy would have done much better.
‘Think about it, Effiong. This is what we have always wanted; the chance to travel, to live somewhere else, to start afresh.’ She enthused.
‘I thought we were already doing that; starting afresh. I thought leaving Lagos and coming to Abuja was what we both wanted.’ He replied.
‘It isn’t the same, Effiong. Even here, there are reminders of the past we ran away from. But with this job, we can go somewhere where no one knows us, where there are no reminders of what we have been through. We can wipe the slate clean.’

He made his way to the bar. He was not a drinking man but even God in heaven knew he needed reinforcements to say what he was about to say.
‘Well what do you think?’ she asked as he nursed his glass of cognac.
‘I think it is amazing but will it be enough, Titi? Will anything or anywhere ever be enough for you to move past the past? I would give up Lagos, Abuja, my whole world for you in the blink of an eye but I need to know if my sacrifice will be enough to bring back the woman I fell in love with.’

Her face fell as he spoke and she made to sit in the nearest chair.
‘Bad things happen to everyone, Titi. So we lost one child but do we have to lose ourselves as well? It has been two years and your heart still wears the colors of mourning even though you stopped wearing black a while back. We buried a child in Lagos and yet you exhume him daily in Abuja. Will moving to this new country and taking this new job finally put our son to rest?’

‘Sleep on it, my love and if your answer is yes, then I will put in my resignation letter tomorrow and follow you. But if it isn’t, then this is one journey you must make alone. When and wherever you find your peace, you just need to pick up the phone and I will come find you. But I won’t do this anymore. I won’t pack up and run from nothing and to nothing anymore. If we go wherever this new job takes you, it will not be because you are running. It will be because this is what you really want and you are ready to let happiness back into our lives.’

He made his way to where she sat and kissed her forehead. He left her sitting there to fight whatever battles the night would bring. 

Song of the day: Adele- Rolling in the deep


  1. *sigh* well written.
    This is so emotional! What made you write this?

  2. Well written story, I can feel the emotions oozing through the screen.

    1. sigh...emotions? oozing? issorai... lol

  3. *sigh*due to individual difference we deal with pain and hurt differently so I don't really blame titi.....but we have to let things go so we can breathe and live again.good work kiah.